glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
the day after is always just damage control
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
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