Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I think your dad took our porno
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
