May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
