Got a toothbrush?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
