Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
