If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
