Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
