Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
it was like eating out sand paper
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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