I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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