I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
