how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
