i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
