this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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