Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
