i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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