Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
