Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
