He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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