I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize