thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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