I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
