I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize