We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
