All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Soap is not a condiment
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize