Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Sorry about my life...
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
