what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
