Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
