did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize