i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
this is an emotional support booty call
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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