My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
