I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
