I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize