I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
