the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Someone signed my nipple.
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