Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
