i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
