the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
