im about as happy as oj after his trial
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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