Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
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If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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