Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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