ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Randomize
