dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
