I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
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