how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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