is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
