4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize