We're like a lot better than the average bears
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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