So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
