I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
