Apparently you make a good broom.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
