Cold hands, warm shart.
And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you can't waste a boner
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
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