GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
There are leaves in my underwear?
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