Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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