By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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