Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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