'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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