Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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