no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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