It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
