your thong is hanging out like whoa
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize