Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i think my mom watched the whole time
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
