Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
