Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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